my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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