i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize