i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
