I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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