Got a toothbrush?
420 ftw
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize