She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
