I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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