How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
