You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
