I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
