It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize