For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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