im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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