and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
