Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Never joke about your clitoris.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
