There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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