I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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