Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
