i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
