I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
