I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
