I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
