New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
