Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize