Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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