someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
