Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you didnt know i had herpes?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
