I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
