Got a toothbrush?
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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