I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
