just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
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could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
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rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Never joke about your clitoris.
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