If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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