Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
