Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
