I wish i was in the wii world.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
