can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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