I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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