My brain says no but my pants say off.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
