She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
