I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
