i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
