He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
