I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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