I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
