Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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