what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
