Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize