Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She's the barista slut.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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