that's an acceptable place to lick
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
