idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
