just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
