It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
