You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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