My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
