Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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