i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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