I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
