Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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