i think my mom watched the whole time
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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